Check-in

Hello, all, and Happy Wednesday. This is a LONG, busy week, but I wanted to take a moment and let you know how things are going. We got a new scale at home, good up to 440 pounds, so I decided to weigh myself today.

Imagine my pleasant surprise to see that I have lost 5 lbs! I am at 325.2 lbs with one more week to go before surgery. I feel like I am starting to adjust to the calorie restrictions, although I'm not gonna lie and say that if someone told me that the cheeseburger I'm craving was only 150 calories that I wouldn't wolf it down! Of course, part of that is that I have my period, so I really crave red meat.

In other news, my mom was admitted to the hospital today because of chest pains. They performed a cardiac catheterization and discovered that there were no blocks, her previously placed stents are in good shape, and her heart muscle is unchanged from one year ago. This is all wonderful news, as it means she hasn't had an event in this past year. HOWEVER, it's also frightening, because it means that she had to go through a procedure, and that is just not something I wanted her to have to do.

So, I thought about today's events and wondered how I felt about it. At first I worried that this was a sign that I shouldn't have surgery next week, but upon more thought, I decided that maybe it was a sign that I SHOULD. I don't want to have to go down the very difficult road my mom's been down.

I am going to close for now.  I am sneezing and I think I'll relax for a bit before bed. 

God bless and keep you all,

Love,

Amy

When it Rains, it Floods...

HIYA!  So, today began yet another 800 calorie day for me.  This is something that I am not yet used to.  I am really OK during the day at work, but by the time I get home I feel like the Chris Farley Gap Girl character on SNL:  "I'm STAAAAAAARVING"!

I have discovered that 800 calories of liquid is almost impossible.  I need to chew.  I have supplemented my shakes with one small (I mean a cup of food) meal in the evening.  I am staying within my calorie restrictions, as promised, but I am also feeding that little person in me who so desperately wants to chew something.  OK, so that person is a big person, but I digress.  My surgeon told me at our pre-admission meeting that he didn't care WHAT I ate for the next two weeks, so long as I lose 5 to 10 pounds pre-surgery.  I think this is a valid change in diet, because, as I said, I am still well within my calorie restrictions, and I am not the mama bear I feel like without food.

In other news, today my monthly friend came to visit.  In some ways, I am thankful that it is now, and that I will not be menstruating during surgery, because let's face it - MORTIFIED would be a mild description of my feelings should I have some sort of overflow/spill incident on the table.  In other ways, this sucks, because when I have my period, my body physically craves/hungers for red meat, chocolate, and salt.  I mean, it's like an addict seeking a drug.  This is not going to be an easy 5 days.  Please, pray for me, and all of those around me.  They'll need it.

God bless and keep you all!
Love,
Amy

Unexpected...

So, this weekend was HARD.  We had a party to go to, and just being home with my husband and daughter made me want to eat what they were.  I did pretty well, though.  Actually, I would have done exceedingly well, but for one thing:  Low Blood Sugar (DUN DUN DUNNNNN!)

It hit me on Saturday and suddenly I was a tidal wave of nastiness.  I couldn't understand why every single, solitary thing everyone did made me crazy with impatience and anger.  I snapped at my mom on the phone for no reason and she asked me if my blood sugar was low.  I thought about it, and responded that it could be.  I am hypoglycemic, but with a high fat high sugar diet, never bothered by it.  These drastic changes in my diet have got it acting up, though.  I had an orange, and at the party I ate some green beans and a salad.  I felt much better and my mood improved, as well.  I think at least one piece of fruit/day may be necessary, even though it is not strictly "on diet".  Without it, I am shaky, have a pounding headache, and quite nasty to be around. 

In other news, I've noticed that directly after drinking my shakes (I have tried two different kinds now) I feel slightly nauseous.  I guess that's good in that I am definitely NOT hungry, but bad in that I don't feel as well as I'd like to feel.  In any case, I am on Day 5 and counting.  It isn't easy, but it isn't impossible, either.

God bless and keep you all,
Love,
Amy

Day Three... Edamame May Save Me

Today is day three.  I had a pretty good day, although I know that I am probably not as pleasant as I normally am.  I have had a headache, and I think it's because my body isn't getting its normal dose of fat every day.  I'm hopeful that as time goes by I will become accustomed to my calorie restrictions. 

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...  OK, I KNOW I can.  It's just going to be hard. 

God bless and keep you all,
Love,
Amy

Day One - Shakes and Veggies, Shakes and Veggies, How can I live on Shakes and Veggies???

OK, I am halfway through Day One of the pre-Op diet.  The shakes (MyopLex Lite Chocolate Fudge) are not bad, and pretty filling.  I have supplemented them with sugar-free popsicles and edamame, and I'm not feeling hungry (at least not yet).  800 calories a day is not going to be easy - I won't even TRY to fool myself. 

I had my pre-admission testing yesterday, and met with my surgeon and my anesthesiologist.  My anesthesiologist did not instill a great deal of confidence in me.  He told me that there was always a risk with anesthesia, and he would do his best to keep me safe.  That's it.  Nothing more.  Just that.  I was a bit surprised by his shortness.  He didn't tell me what to expect or anything else.

I also met two people who will be having surgery on the same day as me.  One is having a gastric bypass, the other I didn't find out about.  They were both nice, and I felt like I would have someone going through this at the same time as me.  At least I know that there are two other people who are trying to stick to 800 calories too.  LOL - Misery truly LOVES company.

I will admit, I am a bit frightened.  I am not a big fan of general anesthesia - I've had it twice before.  It just scares me that I will be under that far.  I am afraid of the whole concept of surgery, and maybe that's normal - I hope so - but it's not something I'm looking forward to.  I am, however, looking forward to the results once this is all said and done.  That's where I'm focusing my thoughts.  UGH...  Please, pray for me.

I cannot BELIEVE I am going to tell a bunch of people I don't know this personal information, but I have decided that full disclosure is important.  My starting weight is 330.2 pounds.  I will let you know my pre-surgery weight, and I will TRY to update that info on a regular basis. 

God bless and keep you all!
Love,
Amy

My Journey Begins Soon - From a Fat Mommy to a Healthy Mommy

Hello, all.  I am going to use this space to talk about my journey through bariatric weightloss surgery.  My surgery has been scheduled for April 7, 2011 and I am having a gastric band placed.  This decision came after a lot of soul searching and prayer, discussions with family and friends, and physician input.  My mother has severe heart disease, and my father is diabetic.  I have already been diagnosed with pseudotumor cerebri and live with quite a lot of pain on a regular basis.  I want to be the best mom I can, and I want to be here for my daughter for as long as possible.

Tomorrow is 3/23.  I go in for my pre-admission testing tomorrow morning and one final meeting with the doctor before surgery.  I start my two week liquid/vegetable diet on Thursday, 3/24.  The diet will shrink my liver, making it easier for the surgeon to place the band.  I would be lying if I said I was excited about eating only vegetables and protein shakes for the next two weeks, but I also know that I will be glad when I am healthier and better able to keep up with my beautiful, active six year old.

I am posting my picture here - this is my beginning picture - my before, so to speak.  I will update with pictures and thoughts as time goes by.

God Bless and Keep You All,

Love,
Amy